When you improve a little each day, eventually big things occur… not tomorrow, not the next day, but eventually. Seek the small improvement one day at a time. That’s the only way it happens – and when it happens, it lasts.”

John Wooden

 “Least said, texted, tweeted, retweeted, Instagrammed, posted, uploaded, shared, blogged, vlogged and Snapchatted, the better.

K J Lamb

Manaakitanga – Kindness

He aroha whakatō, he aroha ka puta mai
If kindness is sown, then kindness is what you shall receive.

He taonga rongonui te aroha ki te tangata
Goodwill towards others is a precious treasure

“At Rutherford we value little acts of human kindness”

Who do you want to be? 

This one question will define your happiness and success more than any other, because how you treat people means everything. Either you lift people up by respecting them, making them feel valued, appreciated and heard, or you hold people down by making them feel small, insulted, disregarded or excluded.

What is incivility?

It’s disrespect. It includes mocking or belittling someone to teasing people in ways that sting or texting in meetings.  We may not mean to make someone feel disrespected, but when we do, it has consequences.

Incivility is a bug. It’s contagious, and we become carriers of it just by being around it.  It affects our emotions, our motivation, our performance and how we treat others. It even affects our attention and can take some of our brainpower.  This was mainly because the teams exposed to rudeness didn’t share information as readily, and they stopped seeking help from their teammates.

Does civility pay?

Yes, it does. And being civil doesn’t just mean that you’re not a jerk. Not holding someone down isn’t the same as lifting them up. Being truly civil means doing the small things, like smiling and saying hello and listening fully when someone’s speaking to you. Of course you can have strong opinions, disagree, have conflict or give negative feedback – but do so civilly, with respect.

Why does civility pay? People will see you as warm and competent, friendly and smart. In other words, being civil isn’t just about motivating others. It’s about you. If you’re civil, you’re more likely to be seen as a leader.

So where do you start? How can you lift people up and make people feel respected? Small things can make a big difference. Thanking people, sharing credit, listening attentively, humbly asking questions, acknowledging others and smiling all have an impact.

Try the 10-5 way, where if you’re within 10 feet of someone, you make eye contact and smile, and if you’re within five feet, you say hello.

Civility lifts people. People give more and function at their best if we’re civil. Incivility chips away at people and their performance. When we have more civil environments, we’re more productive, creative, helpful, happy and healthy.

Acknowledgement: Professor Christine Porath, author of ‘Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace’.